Thankful.

Wow - it's been more than three years since I've written anything like this. How much has happened in three years is actually unbelievable. But I'm not really here to recap the last 36+ months of my life (I can come back to that a little later).

I woke up today with a dire need to share my thoughts. Not sure how everyone has been or if my "followers" (do I even have any of those?) have kept up with me on other social media platforms...but life is pretty crazy these days. Work, music, dance studio, family, boyfriend, friends, weddings, the list goes on and on...but at the end of the list - I am thankful. Cheesy, yes. But oh well.

I typically end my day in tears. Not always bad ones, but nonetheless they are there. I cry from stress most of the time just so I can let something out to make room for everything else that I have coming to me. I'm always on the go, and it's very rare I sit down and have a second to breathe (the fact that I'm writing this right now is actually quite unbelievable). But still, tears or not, I am so thankful.

When people ask how I'm doing or how life is going, my answer has been that I'm just tired, almost too tired to enjoy everything. It's a pretty sad answer. But on a drive home the other day, I started thinking to myself about what I can do to make myself feel better on a daily basis. I look around and see a number of my friends doing things to give back to the world and communities (shout out to PUSO for your amazing work), and I can't help but think that my daily complaints are actually about the blessings in my life, not about the mishaps or the tragedies. So many kids and families are suffering from hunger, sickness, homelessness...and I cry/complain every night because my blessings are tiring me. Definitely puts things in perspective.

Everyone's struggles are different and everyone is trying to overcome things that others know nothing about but the one thing we all have in common today is that we woke up, and that's what matters.

So whatever it is you're going after, keep going. Your career, your family, your health, your passion, or even just simply, your sanity - whatever.it.is. - keep going. And believe that there is a greater being (no matter who/what it is you believe in) that is looking out for you and what's best.

What's meant to happen, will happen. And in the meantime, it's up to each of us to make the best of it.

Not trying to preach, but just trying to hold myself accountable with everyone around me: I have nothing to cry about today.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

I didn't stop.

Every time I run into someone I haven't seen in awhile I get the same type of greeting "what happened to your blog? I haven't seen you post in awhile!" And every time I have to give the same response...so here it is: 

I didn't stop. I didn't give up. I didn't drop the ball. I write very often. But it has been a long time since I've actually published something I've written. The main reason being that there has been so much going on in the world, so many things that I am passionate about and have strong emotions towards, that I feel it's best to just stay mute on those topics. After all, silence is sometimes the best answer especially when I have other factors to care about as an adult. I don't want to encourage "bad vibes" for me, my family, my business partner(s), or my friends.

For those who know me well, they can vouch that I rarely care what people think about me or my opinions. But everyone also knows that I love with all my heart, and when I love you I really, really commit to loving you. So I decided to stay quiet so I wouldn't offend anyone with my off-the-wall opinions and continue to love as much as I am capable of. 

With that being said, I'll pick up with some happy thoughts. Happy New Year, everyone! 

Life is good. Except I'd do anything to get out of this terrible, cold, and gloomy weather. Other than that, though - life is really, really, good. 

I've vowed that 2015 will be a different kind of year for me. A year of total focus and self-growth. It's safe to say that 2014 was super successful. With #TeamCerdafied ending the year at #24 on the Billboard Chart, all the traveling and new-city-exploring I got to do, the beautiful family and friends I've connected with, it's time I take all my great fortune and energy and focus it on some new things I want to accomplish. Not necessarily resolutions for myself...more like resolutions for my emotional circle. So here are three of my main goals: 

1. Connect. I'd love to get myself to connect with new people. I love everyone in my life but I'd like to encourage myself to extend my hand and make new friends. Join a charity function, attend a different Happy Hour, call an old friend from grade school. Whatever it is, I want to connect with a new part of myself outside of my comfort zone. My biggest issue is making time for things outside of my normal work, family, and friend routine. But I want to connect more with the people I don't see often. They are such a big part of my daily thought process that it's important for me to explore these relationships. I've learned that life is short, and some people are taken too soon. I don't want to lose out on an awesome memory because I didn't take one second to connect. 

2. Let go and let God. I've been through a lot in the last few years. And although parts of me have moved on, there are still parts that hang on to the old me, and I have no idea why. I'd like to continue building my faith and learning to trust myself and those around me more. By the end of the year I want to be able to look back and breathe a little better knowing that I am not vengeful, hurt, or disappointed in anyone (including myself). My dad said something interesting a couple weeks ago: "You trust too much, and you're a fool. You don't trust at all, and you're miserable." Probably the strongest sentence that's stuck with me in a very long time...so my vow is to just trust God. That way I won't ever be a fool, and I won't ever be miserable. It's time for me to just let go of the bad so I can make room for all the good...(soooo cliche right? :P)  

3. Inspire. Finally, I want to inspire. Two people the most, really -- my sister and my brother. I like to tease that the best times of my life were as an only child. (And don't get me wrong, I loved alllll the attention) But I'm so blessed to have two little shadows to follow me. My goal this year is to inspire both of them together and individually. I don't want my sister to make the same mistakes I did. We are so different, but so similar. I want the outcome of her choices to always be positive and even though I have to let her make her own mistakes and leave her own marks, I want to inspire her to always be positive and make the best decisions she can as a young woman, student, and friend.  I hope to show her the right ropes to climb up; and the right friends she should hang on to. As for my brother, I want to be the loudest voice in his head when he wakes up in the morning and last he hears before he goes to sleep at night. If anyone is like me in my family, it's him. Right down to the argumentative and hard-headed approach to everything...there's nothing different about us. I want to inspire him to use this part of him for good causes and not fights, the way I did. I've really learned that there's no point for the fighting. It's a waste of time. You can get a lot further without it. I want him to take that fire we share and put it into being a good man. Someone we can all depend on. A modern day version of my dad. I want to inspire him to be a good guy and treat other women..and people, with respect. It might take a few different approaches (because if anyone knows how stubborn he can be, it's me), but I plan to figure it out. He will be my special little project. ;) 

All three of my intentions for 2015 will hopefully become my lifestyle and way of thinking. There's no intention for the "new year, new me" b.s. that everyone comes up with. It's just time to take myself and my life to a new level. I can't expect much to change if I don't change, too. So here we go. :) 

-Rahna

Oh and p.s. if there's anything you'd like to hear about, know about, or learn about - let me know! I'm always looking for cool things to share with everyone! 

religions of the world.

I try really hard not to let my feelings about politics and religion out on FB and/or social media because I truly hate reading so many horrid things. I mean you don't even know how hard it was for me not to comment on the Donald Sterling case...but I have a question now --

I was taught that there is one God. One Allah. One Savior. One Heaven. One Hell. 

Views on God/Allah/the Savior may be different including and not limited to how we worship, pray, and pay respects - but at the end of the day we were all born into this world and we're all going to die. Whether it is explained through scientific logic or through your book of worship. Death is going to happen. Regardless. 

SO, with that being said - maybe someone can help me better understand something? 

Let's just get this straight - Muslims in Gaza are upset because the people of Israel are killing their families and children even though they've been there for thousands of years. Rightfully so. I'd be pretty damn upset too. And everyone is arguing that it's not about religion it's about being human. Again, rightfully so. So explain to me how all the Christians in the Middle East are being scrutinized and asked to leave the land of Mosul, Iraq in which they've been in for thousands of years too or they face death? There are more Christians scrutinized in the Middle East than there are Muslims. The Muslim population is huge in that part of the world, the biggest religious population at that. So why turn around and hurt people the way you are being hurt? I just don't get it. I don't care if the people being killed and slaughtered are Jewish, Muslim, or Catholic. I care that they are dying - period. Point blank. 

And all I hear is "Allah save us" and "Allah protect us" but you cross over a few borders and the same religion of people (and I realize that it's not EXACTLY the same, and it's more political than religious) but nonetheless, the same thing is happening somewhere else but this time with them as the Prosecutors? The fact that it is about politics or land invasion is a cover up, and the fact that it's about religion is a cover up - it's a damn lack of humanity. There is NO explanation in the world that can get me to believe that anyone living this terrible massacre deserves to die.  

To have the three religious foundations that are all based on peace to always be at war with one another is pitiful. Each and every religion is about finding inner peace with yourself and your spirit. You are NOT a good person because you are Muslim. You are NOT a good person because you are Jewish. And you are NOT a good person because you are Christian. It's about loving the people around you and the forces that gave you air to breathe, a sun to take in, and stars to dream about. I was taught that BY NO MEANS is it about fighting for land, and killing people based on their views. To each his own. Believe in what you want - it's not up to me to judge you or your family. It's up to you to be a good person. Why do we have to wait for people to die and explosions to happen in our land to realize that there is no reason for it?

I seriously try not to watch too much TV or read the papers and headlines these days. It hurts to see babies crying and men screaming to fight for their families safety while I'm here kissing my parents every day and eating peacefully at our family 7:30 dinner every night. 

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Feeling like Muslims, Jews, and Christians all victimize themselves based on their beliefs but then turn around and do the same thing to other people? How does that even make sense?

As a Catholic-raised girl, I take pride in my humanity and in my heart. I have friends from all cultures, beliefs, and views. I respect, I love, and I work hard to be a good person. Not because it's my ticket to Heaven but because it's the right thing to do. I'm not perfect with my religion but hey, I have a good heart. At the end of the day, I want the best for everyone in the world. It's not a rare idea, it's actually pretty basic...

My heart goes out to those mourning and breaking. My prayers are with you and your families. I wish peace upon your countries and hope for a better future with our children and future generations. It's up to us to make a difference. 

Am I Wrong?

...for thinking that we could be something for real? <3

I thought it was the most suitable song right now...with all of the bad stuff being reported on the news and the crime, war, and hatred around the world, is it wrong to think we can reach for something we can't even see?

As most of you know, I've been on a total stump on what to share with you or write about. And as another bunch of you know, life is an absolute whirl wind right now that I can't even put into words. Happiness doesn't even begin to describe what I feel on a daily basis. SO! Here I am...I combined a bunch of my posts into one for you. 

Note to those who are aching for a happy feeling...hard work does pay off. Whatever it is you are struggling through right now, it will turn out okay. Reach for the things you can't see, eventually it'll all be in clear view. 

A lot of my time recently has been thrown into working on my business (outside of my 9-5). The past few weeks has truly tested my faith, my courage, and my strength. Constant questions in my head like -- did I get everything done today?, are the contracts good to go?, does Jason have everything he needs?, are the dancers ready...?, what do I need to get done first tomorrow...?

And then I ask myself deeper questions like, what if I'm wrong and what if I'm being too optimistic...?, am I setting everyone up around me for failure by never preparing for bad...?

I don't know. The best way for me to answer these questions to myself are- I. Don't. Know. It's actually kind of funny - everyone on our team calls me Ms. Positive, because each time something bad comes out of someone's mouth, I shut it down so fast. I'm NOW (something I've been working on for awhile) a firm believer in thinking of the best, praying for the best, and doing the best. If we exert the best of ourselves into each day, we will get the best back. Not always, but at least most of the time. At the end of the day, I don't want to go to sleep thinking I didn't try my hardest to make something happen.

I've heard the word "no" a lot in the last few years. Jason and I both have had people invest their time in our project but then leave us high and dry without a word of an explanation. We've had people tell us that they will do a, b, and c for us and we of course barely get anything. And honestly, the last time we had a door shut in our face - I vowed to myself that I wouldn't let it happen again. I haven't thrown so much of my life and heart into a project that I would let fail. Accepting someone's "no" is not what we're about. Never have been, never will be. Their lack of faith is honestly what reboots our motivation and keeps us working harder. 

There have been A LOTTTT of people in the past few months that have come and knocked on our door. Apologies from everyone for not believing in me and my goals and my dreams, and most importantly for not believing in Jason and what he's about. Constant fights about why I'm doing what I'm doing and endless explanations on where I'm going with my life. It's not easy - most of you probably think I blow you off when I tell you I'm too busy or I have a meeting, but I promise it's not like that. I don't expect anyone to understand or for it to be an easy ride. My priority right now is to make my dream (and my best friend's dream) come true. We've talked about touring, and opening up offices, and having our core team all over the world for so long. That is my priority. That is my constant to-do list. That's why I don't stop. Fridays aren't the end of the work week, they're the beginning for my work-weekend. 

So where has all this gotten us? This year has been phenomenal. Jason won the Uforia Music Festival contest to perform and debut with some hugeeee artists (stay tuned for awesome pics in August) and we're going to LA in just a few weeks. He is being sponsored by Subway in their Fresh New Artist segment for the summer - and his face is everywhere! We've added some amazing new people to our team that are making our hard work and dreams actually come true every day. Our career-long goal thus far to be on 99.5 has been accomplished - stay tuned for some more radio updates! International radio coverage is now a norm. Should I keep going?? 2014 has been amazing to say the least. 

My main point to everyone is keep going. Keep pushing. Every time you scratch something off your to-do list, add something else. It WILL happen. Hard work DOES pay off. You CAN do it. 

And just in case you haven't taken the chance to watch this music video, I suggest you do. It's worth every second of your time. (It's what inspired to me put this post together...)

"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." - Maya Angelou

Why Expect Less?

Sign on Twitter and search "emotional tweets" (if there's even a way to do that...) What do you find? Self-absorbed, victimized, sorry ass people tweeting about being disappointed, let down, hurt, etc etc etc. Something along the lines of "expect less and you'll never be disappointed", right? 

I always hear people tell others or even advise me to never expect anything from anyone so I don't get disappointed. Just basically lower my standards to expect nothing so that way if I walk away with something (even the smallest inkling of progress) I'll feel soooo accomplished; and on the flip side of that, if I walk away with nothing, I will feel like nothing was lost because I expected nothing to begin with. In theory this all makes sense. But really, isn't that selling myself short?

Why should I expect less? Why can't I expect what I give other people? And by other people I don't mean John Doe or Sally Sue on the side of the road, I mean my friends and family. Why can't I expect out of them what they get from me?

For the longest time, my Twitter profile read "treat me the way you want me to treat you" - plain and simple. You expect me to smile at you, I expect you to smile back at me. Some say this is more of a reactive approach rather than a proactive approach but it is what it is. If you see that I'm sacrificing my time to go pick up something from the store, or take an extra 15 minutes to help with a math problem, or even write or edit an email for you - is it so hard for me to be able to rely on you for something?

"Oh you know Rahna, that's just how he/she is...just let it go" - how about NOT. I don't want to let it go. I want that he/she to treat me the way THEY would want to be treated. I'm seriously tired of giving people excuses for letting me down. Am I supposed to just go about life expecting guys to cheat on me, bosses to fire me, or friends to talk behind my back and lie? No, obviously not. I DO have expectations, and I don't find a need to make them go away. They give me worth and morals. They give me goals to work towards and standards to live by. I try to hold myself accountable for my actions so that way when others do the same, I can empathize and relate to them. But if I expect less, then they would expect less of me (in theory, of course) and then what happens? I'm no longer expected to be as good of a person...not exactly what we were put in this world to do if you ask me. 

Honestly, I'm not perfect. I know that, you know that, my friends know that, and my parents definitely know that. I'm nowhere close to perfection, and I'll even go as far as saying I have a long list of imperfections. But I am smart. I am kind. I am driven. I am an overall good human being. I want the best for you, whoever "you" might be. I want the best for humanity, in general. So by selling myself short I think I'm giving the world a little less of a good person. 

When someone around me gets disappointed - my advice to them won't be "oh you have to expect that..."; it's going to be "I understand why you feel that way, you should tell them. And next time maybe re-evaluate how you approach the situation." 

It's okay to have expectations - why not? It's okay to want to be pampered when you pamper others - is that weird? It's okay to say no to some things. I'm not promoting selfishness by any means, I'm promoting self-awareness. Next time you want to tell someone you care for "no" to doing something, ask yourself if they would ever say no to you in a similar situation OR instead of just doing something against your wishes or desires, maybe offer a compromise to make them feel like their efforts are being returned. 

It's not that hard of a concept - just treat others the way you want to be treated. It's a sign of appreciation and thanks, at the very least. 

Behbeh powers ONLY, please!

Have you ever met someone and just absolutely clicked with them immediately? Like to the point where it was scary how much you knew about one another or how you have lived your life all the way up until then without them? Yeah that's NOT exactly how it went down with me and my Behbeh when we first met. 

First let me start off by defining Behbeh - Behbeh is a proper noun, pronounced Beh-beh. It means babe/baby/boo/bae/the best person in world. Behbeh in singular or plural form (Behbehs) means exactly the same thing. It really just comes down to the context of the conversation.  Being a Behbeh means we have exclusive powers to only understand each other. I know when she's gonna text me or call me; and I also know what she's thinking before she tells me. And vice versa. We have the same powers. It's the Behbeh powers. However, Behbeh is Rachel and Behbeh is also Rahna. And when you refer to us together it's The Behbehs. K? K. 

How did we get to such exclusivity with our names? Well it was a whole bunch of senseless events that led up to it. I don't even know how to pinpoint it, to be honest. 

We started off in two totally different groups. There was the Lebanese group from O'Connell and the Lebanese group from Ireton...I guess rivals? They thought what they wanted about us, and we thought we wanted about them, and needless to say we all thought very interesting things about each other. We had a few mutual friends..and eventually saw each other often enough to start striking up a conversation. 

Here is what I learned about Rachel within the first few times I spoke to her --

-She didn't have a curfew.

-She hated pizza.

-She hated sushi. 

-She hated Chinese food. 

-She loved college. 

-She loved Lebanon. 

-She had a white friend, Lea; and an Ethiopian friend, Elwina- and everyone else was Lebanese.

In my mind, it translated as nothing but a handful of Rachel to get used to. But I quickly learned that this chick who was the absolute, total opposite of me would turn into one of my very closest friends.  College would have been a disaster without her. 

She was the chick that kept me sane in classes, pushed me to study for my finals, and helped me overcome my daily drama (so typical of me, I know). Some days, she was the only person I talked to all day...and it turned into our own language - with phrases that pissed everyone off like "what you make like do?" aka "what are you up to?" or "I make like sit." aka "I'm sitting". Her mom always stressed that education was my weapon and to push forward, and her dad always put a smile on my face and humored us with our Behbeh nicknames. I'm her encyclopedia, and she is the one who will empathize with me NO MATTER WHAT my situation is. If I want her to kick someone's ass for me, she will. Every girl needs a down ass homie like that, I'm telling you. She's my eyes when I'm blind too...watch out suckas!

Today, I'd like to say that we've grown up a lot together. WE now have a list of things to feel:

- We both don't have curfew.

- She will eat pizza if there is nothing else. 

-She loves sushi.

-She will eat Chinese, but prefers Thai.

-She still loves college...Masters in the making. 

-She still loves Lebanon...but only a few weeks at a time. 

-She still has her white friend, Lea; and her Ethiopian friend, Elwina. And everyone else is still the same. :) 

-Oh and one last thing...we both hate and love the same people. :)  by default. 

Oh, oh, sorry one more thing, again. She's the queen of #fitlife and a trainer in the making (if I have to force her to do it, I will). Despite all the heat she's caught for becoming healthier, leaner, and overall more gorgeous (if it's even physically possible..) - she remains non-confrontational and classy as can be. 

I got exclusive rights over her latest photoshoot...so here's a sneak peak for you all: 

Love you, Behbeh! 

To all of you who know "Alexis", peep her cameo in the middle pic! :) 

#Pamela

On to my next girly: Pamela.

Pammy, Bamela, Pam. Our Egyptian, Cleopatra-looking goddess.

Every single group needs a Pam. The funny (I mean hilarious), gorgeous, chick who loves to dance and keep you tuned in the celebrity world. The perfect wing woman. Without a doubt will get a whole room of people focused on us with her jokes and super sexy swagged out style. She's so in tune with pop culture that half of the time I can't keep up with her #hashtag conversations, (and I more or less work my full time job within the pop culture world). 

I think one of my favorite stories to tell about Pam is that she used to be my bully. See, in 6th grade my parents decided to do the absolute worst thing that you could do to a fat, Harry Potter glasses wearing, big haired 12 year old girl; they took me out of my school with all my friends (who needless to say accepted me beyond my hideous exterior) and moved me to private school where I had exactly zero friends. And just like in the movies, I was the one who got picked on. And Pam was the popular, really cool girl who always had her nails painted, the coolest binders, and the best curly hair. Oh and she could play basketball (3 pointers for dayyys) so of course all the boys loved her. Well being that Pam is hilarious (she is her father's daughter), she used to pick on me. Saying what? I honestly don't remember. I guess it was your typical 6th grade type of bullying, nothing like what bullying is today though. The thing about Pam's jokes were that she really didn't mean them. She just did it because she was clever and witty and got people to laugh. And allll that stopped when she was invited to the end of the year pool party at my house that my parents convinced me to have despite the loser-lifestyle of crying every night I had all year long. Ever since that Saturday afternoon where she came over with the rest of our classmates, Pam has been one of my best friends. 

We laugh when we tell the story because if any of you know Pam, you know the girl will keep it real but she is so not mean. She loved me for my pool when we were 12. But now she loves me for me. I think, I hope. Since the summer going into 7th grade we've been so close. Although we've had our differences about the types of people we wanted to hang out with in high school, and me wanting to drink before I was 21 or talking to boys that made me cut school and do things I shouldn't be doing, we've been pretty damn good friends to each other. Got through high school projects, college Halloween ragers, and a rack of fights and arguments. She's one of the best people to have by your side. The comic relief to any dramatic situation. She will tell you how it is, and whether you listen to her or not, she will still be there for you when everything in the world crumbles at your feet. Once she loves you, you're in with her. The perfect recipe to an amazing friendship.

Now contrary to what any of you might think, she is no longer the bully in our friendship...I'm pretty sure I take that roll now. Her roll is to send me daily snap chats of her at the gym workin her coca-cola figure, pics of her snacks and meals, and blowing up my phone uncontrollably with angry face texts about how she misses me and our group needs to get together more often. 

Oh, and I can't forget her #awesome #hashtagging skills and keeping up with the daily drama of celebrity life and #NoVa gossip. She has our group covered with the latest nail trends and who's engaged to who. Gotta love me some Bamela.

My irreplaceable Bamela, I love you.  

Everyone, good luck finding your own personal, #hastagging, beautiful comedian. :) 

One more coming your way...