Why Expect Less?

Sign on Twitter and search "emotional tweets" (if there's even a way to do that...) What do you find? Self-absorbed, victimized, sorry ass people tweeting about being disappointed, let down, hurt, etc etc etc. Something along the lines of "expect less and you'll never be disappointed", right? 

I always hear people tell others or even advise me to never expect anything from anyone so I don't get disappointed. Just basically lower my standards to expect nothing so that way if I walk away with something (even the smallest inkling of progress) I'll feel soooo accomplished; and on the flip side of that, if I walk away with nothing, I will feel like nothing was lost because I expected nothing to begin with. In theory this all makes sense. But really, isn't that selling myself short?

Why should I expect less? Why can't I expect what I give other people? And by other people I don't mean John Doe or Sally Sue on the side of the road, I mean my friends and family. Why can't I expect out of them what they get from me?

For the longest time, my Twitter profile read "treat me the way you want me to treat you" - plain and simple. You expect me to smile at you, I expect you to smile back at me. Some say this is more of a reactive approach rather than a proactive approach but it is what it is. If you see that I'm sacrificing my time to go pick up something from the store, or take an extra 15 minutes to help with a math problem, or even write or edit an email for you - is it so hard for me to be able to rely on you for something?

"Oh you know Rahna, that's just how he/she is...just let it go" - how about NOT. I don't want to let it go. I want that he/she to treat me the way THEY would want to be treated. I'm seriously tired of giving people excuses for letting me down. Am I supposed to just go about life expecting guys to cheat on me, bosses to fire me, or friends to talk behind my back and lie? No, obviously not. I DO have expectations, and I don't find a need to make them go away. They give me worth and morals. They give me goals to work towards and standards to live by. I try to hold myself accountable for my actions so that way when others do the same, I can empathize and relate to them. But if I expect less, then they would expect less of me (in theory, of course) and then what happens? I'm no longer expected to be as good of a person...not exactly what we were put in this world to do if you ask me. 

Honestly, I'm not perfect. I know that, you know that, my friends know that, and my parents definitely know that. I'm nowhere close to perfection, and I'll even go as far as saying I have a long list of imperfections. But I am smart. I am kind. I am driven. I am an overall good human being. I want the best for you, whoever "you" might be. I want the best for humanity, in general. So by selling myself short I think I'm giving the world a little less of a good person. 

When someone around me gets disappointed - my advice to them won't be "oh you have to expect that..."; it's going to be "I understand why you feel that way, you should tell them. And next time maybe re-evaluate how you approach the situation." 

It's okay to have expectations - why not? It's okay to want to be pampered when you pamper others - is that weird? It's okay to say no to some things. I'm not promoting selfishness by any means, I'm promoting self-awareness. Next time you want to tell someone you care for "no" to doing something, ask yourself if they would ever say no to you in a similar situation OR instead of just doing something against your wishes or desires, maybe offer a compromise to make them feel like their efforts are being returned. 

It's not that hard of a concept - just treat others the way you want to be treated. It's a sign of appreciation and thanks, at the very least. 

Behbeh powers ONLY, please!

Have you ever met someone and just absolutely clicked with them immediately? Like to the point where it was scary how much you knew about one another or how you have lived your life all the way up until then without them? Yeah that's NOT exactly how it went down with me and my Behbeh when we first met. 

First let me start off by defining Behbeh - Behbeh is a proper noun, pronounced Beh-beh. It means babe/baby/boo/bae/the best person in world. Behbeh in singular or plural form (Behbehs) means exactly the same thing. It really just comes down to the context of the conversation.  Being a Behbeh means we have exclusive powers to only understand each other. I know when she's gonna text me or call me; and I also know what she's thinking before she tells me. And vice versa. We have the same powers. It's the Behbeh powers. However, Behbeh is Rachel and Behbeh is also Rahna. And when you refer to us together it's The Behbehs. K? K. 

How did we get to such exclusivity with our names? Well it was a whole bunch of senseless events that led up to it. I don't even know how to pinpoint it, to be honest. 

We started off in two totally different groups. There was the Lebanese group from O'Connell and the Lebanese group from Ireton...I guess rivals? They thought what they wanted about us, and we thought we wanted about them, and needless to say we all thought very interesting things about each other. We had a few mutual friends..and eventually saw each other often enough to start striking up a conversation. 

Here is what I learned about Rachel within the first few times I spoke to her --

-She didn't have a curfew.

-She hated pizza.

-She hated sushi. 

-She hated Chinese food. 

-She loved college. 

-She loved Lebanon. 

-She had a white friend, Lea; and an Ethiopian friend, Elwina- and everyone else was Lebanese.

In my mind, it translated as nothing but a handful of Rachel to get used to. But I quickly learned that this chick who was the absolute, total opposite of me would turn into one of my very closest friends.  College would have been a disaster without her. 

She was the chick that kept me sane in classes, pushed me to study for my finals, and helped me overcome my daily drama (so typical of me, I know). Some days, she was the only person I talked to all day...and it turned into our own language - with phrases that pissed everyone off like "what you make like do?" aka "what are you up to?" or "I make like sit." aka "I'm sitting". Her mom always stressed that education was my weapon and to push forward, and her dad always put a smile on my face and humored us with our Behbeh nicknames. I'm her encyclopedia, and she is the one who will empathize with me NO MATTER WHAT my situation is. If I want her to kick someone's ass for me, she will. Every girl needs a down ass homie like that, I'm telling you. She's my eyes when I'm blind too...watch out suckas!

Today, I'd like to say that we've grown up a lot together. WE now have a list of things to feel:

- We both don't have curfew.

- She will eat pizza if there is nothing else. 

-She loves sushi.

-She will eat Chinese, but prefers Thai.

-She still loves college...Masters in the making. 

-She still loves Lebanon...but only a few weeks at a time. 

-She still has her white friend, Lea; and her Ethiopian friend, Elwina. And everyone else is still the same. :) 

-Oh and one last thing...we both hate and love the same people. :)  by default. 

Oh, oh, sorry one more thing, again. She's the queen of #fitlife and a trainer in the making (if I have to force her to do it, I will). Despite all the heat she's caught for becoming healthier, leaner, and overall more gorgeous (if it's even physically possible..) - she remains non-confrontational and classy as can be. 

I got exclusive rights over her latest photoshoot...so here's a sneak peak for you all: 

Love you, Behbeh! 

To all of you who know "Alexis", peep her cameo in the middle pic! :)