Humility

No matter how famous I may or may not ever become,  one thing that I will NOT allow is for me or anyone around me to be arrogant because of FAME - or because of anything for that matter.

This past weekend I learned the true meaning of arrogance, and what it means to really think you are better than everyone around you. I went to sleep last night totally disgusted with the company I was with, and I honestly woke up feeling humiliated for letting a group of people make me feel that way. 

I'm the type of person who truly values the people in my life. I really do love my family and friends, and I love helping others. I'm not easily taken on a ride, and it takes some time to get close to me - but I do promise and vow to everyone around me that if I'm your friend, I'm 100 % respectful, loving, and true to you. Most of you know the career path I have chosen, and others know a little more about my passions and dreams to one day make it big in the entertainment industry alongside my best friend and business partner. But you all are my witnesses - no matter where I end up, I will always remain true to myself. 

I will be the same girl rocking a bun on top of my head in some sweats that I am when I'm standing in front of a group of people in an evening dress. I will be the same person you can call at any time of day and rely on to help you with a flat tire or loan you $50 if you need it. I'll never reject an invitation from you and I'll always say thank you.  I promise, as your friend, I'll always be humble. 

The most important thing about being in the public eye is gaining a reputation that will precede you in a positive manner. You want people to speak about you positively and want to work with you again and again. The worst thing I can possibly imagine is having someone say about my team or me "wow...so happy that's over!" I won't let that happen, and if for whatever reason I do leave a bad feeling with someone I've worked with...I hope they feel comfortable enough to tell me how I can improve my ethical approach. I'll always be respectful to you, appreciate you and the connections you have led me to, and work with you to have the best outcome possible on a project. 

I can confidently say that unless I have a straight problem with you, you will never experience anything short of a funny, sweet, or laid back conversation from me. I will tell you to your face if I don't like something, or if I genuinely love everything about you. And I will NOT be arrogant...ever. I'm not superwoman, some mysterious goddess, or a supernatural empowered being...I'm human, and I'll treat you the same way I expect to be treated. :)

Now that I have that off my chest...I can go back to enjoying this beautiful day... :) and look forward to not working with that group of people again! 

as the world passes us by

Ever get so caught up in something for so long that you don't even realize what time it is anymore? It's like you're holding your breath throughout the whole day and you don't even notice it...

This past weekend I made a true effort in leaving my phone and work behind me. A true effort to just breathe. If you know me at all, you know that this was a huge challenge because so much of my world involves my phone, but I put my mind to it. Minus the few emails I had to send/forward to my boss and the daily check-in texts with my family to let them know I was alive...I truly set my mind to enjoying the Cali weather, people, and scenery. I rarely checked Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. The only app I really used on my phone was my camera, and even that was minimal...out of 5 days I only had about 25 pictures or so to share...not what the old me would have done at all. 

I bottle myself up so much on a daily basis - sitting in a stuffy office, driving with my windows up because it's so damn cold (still!), and even staying in bed on a random beautiful day because I'm "too tired" to get up and enjoy life. I hate that I do that, and I'm going to change it. Life is too short. 

You're probably thinking - "wow, there she goes with that emo-cliche type ish", but hey...you're only going to get out what you put in to something. 

I completely respect that so much of people's careers and work revolves around this new age world (in fact, I have to respect that - my job is all about it!), but ever think back to when people didn't know what you were eating or how it looked? Or when people had no idea how you felt about every little thing that happens hour by hour, minute by minute? I respect each and every one of my friends and their grind. I respect that they all show their beautiful faces to the world and share their careers, music, and pictures with me. I love it actually. It gives me something to look forward to. But all I'm saying is to set an equal amount of time aside to just breathe some fresh air, enjoy a conversation with someone next to you, and just simply not worry about anyone on the internet. 

I dare each of you to try to save your social media checks to when you're in bed at night, or in the waiting room at a doctor's office or whatever! I dare each of you to put your phone away in the car and actually enjoy a car ride with your friend or one of your parents or siblings, listening to music or chatting about your day or even about what you're craving to eat. I dare each of you to not let the world pass you by while your head is looking down at your phone. Live a little...without your phone. 

Just because our worlds are becoming so tech-y doesn't mean we should lose sight of everything around us.

Thoughts?

A quarter for your thoughts...? Or mine?

As long as I can remember, my dad has told me to start a blog...a place where I can voice my not so quiet opinions, express my ideas and feelings, and get all my creativity out without any screaming matches I typically end up encountering with people all around me. 

So here I am, two days after my 25th birthday starting a new chapter in my life...literally, and well, virtually. 25...a quarter of a century. The thought of that just kills me but for some reason, I'm at complete peace with the idea of being 25 today. 

A few weeks ago, some people asked me how excited I was to celebrate, and my answer was "not at all". I was honestly scared. I am no where close to where I wanted to be at this quarter mark. At 18 just graduating high school, I had in my mind I would have my own place, my debt would be paid off, and I'd be in a steady, amazing relationship with the hopes of getting married soon. I wanted to be well on my way to starting a family and a life that even I would be jealous of in a fairy tale scenario. 

Where am I today? Still living at home with my parents, still making my monthly credit card payments, and well...not in a steady relationship. My main three goals aren't even close to being accomplished at this point. But you know what? Today...today, I'm okay with that. At 18, I didn't think of all the struggles I'd endure in the coming 7 years of my life - including but so NOT limited to - struggling to finish school, losing a dear friend of mine to gun violence, overcoming my struggle with my weight, and of course the ever so expected heart break that every girl comes across at some point. I've been through a lot and I'm sure I haven't even tipped the iceberg at this point. Through this learning process, though, I've learned how to be strong, how to bounce back and love unconditionally, how to confide in my family, and most importantly I've learned to love myself. 

Today, at 25. I'm really happy with who I am. I know I have a lot ahead of me, and a lot that I need to continue to work on. I will always be a work in progress. But accepting that is the first step to realizing that plans won't always go the way I want them to. There will always be a few detours along my journey. Being surrounded with my friends and family this year for my birthday was the best reminder that my journey is so unique, and it will be such an amazing ride...

Blowing out my 25 candles was the best feeling...and for what it's worth, it's going to be my best challenge to make next year's birthday even better.

I'm one lucky girl.