As long as I can remember, my dad has told me to start a blog...a place where I can voice my not so quiet opinions, express my ideas and feelings, and get all my creativity out without any screaming matches I typically end up encountering with people all around me.
So here I am, two days after my 25th birthday starting a new chapter in my life...literally, and well, virtually. 25...a quarter of a century. The thought of that just kills me but for some reason, I'm at complete peace with the idea of being 25 today.
A few weeks ago, some people asked me how excited I was to celebrate, and my answer was "not at all". I was honestly scared. I am no where close to where I wanted to be at this quarter mark. At 18 just graduating high school, I had in my mind I would have my own place, my debt would be paid off, and I'd be in a steady, amazing relationship with the hopes of getting married soon. I wanted to be well on my way to starting a family and a life that even I would be jealous of in a fairy tale scenario.
Where am I today? Still living at home with my parents, still making my monthly credit card payments, and well...not in a steady relationship. My main three goals aren't even close to being accomplished at this point. But you know what? Today...today, I'm okay with that. At 18, I didn't think of all the struggles I'd endure in the coming 7 years of my life - including but so NOT limited to - struggling to finish school, losing a dear friend of mine to gun violence, overcoming my struggle with my weight, and of course the ever so expected heart break that every girl comes across at some point. I've been through a lot and I'm sure I haven't even tipped the iceberg at this point. Through this learning process, though, I've learned how to be strong, how to bounce back and love unconditionally, how to confide in my family, and most importantly I've learned to love myself.
Today, at 25. I'm really happy with who I am. I know I have a lot ahead of me, and a lot that I need to continue to work on. I will always be a work in progress. But accepting that is the first step to realizing that plans won't always go the way I want them to. There will always be a few detours along my journey. Being surrounded with my friends and family this year for my birthday was the best reminder that my journey is so unique, and it will be such an amazing ride...
Blowing out my 25 candles was the best feeling...and for what it's worth, it's going to be my best challenge to make next year's birthday even better.
I'm one lucky girl.
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